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July 10, 2007
A Note from Kathy: Happy Belated Independence Day!
Feature Article: Moms and Trainers Working Together
ShowMom Survey: Take it Now
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Welcome to the Savvy Show Mom Ezine by Kathy Keeley and ShowMom.com
>>A Note from Kathy: Happy Belated Independence Day!
This was one of the first Independence Day celebrations where we were not horse showing and catching the fireworks at some horse venue. My favorite memory was Chateau Elan, which loves to combine a horse show on the property and their fireworks for all of the hotel and housing development guests. The horses probably think they are under siege with all of the noise!
Pony Finals and Junior Finals are just around the corner. For all those that qualify, congratulations! If it is your first time, find someone that has gone before and get prepared. If you are a seasoned veteran, good luck. If you are not going, think of all of the money, stress and tension you get to miss this year. If you're not sure what these events are, both are are qualifying events requiring championships in your respective classes and an invitation to attend.
So while writing this, I happened to look at the window and there are two horses standing in my driveway looking at my brand new car! Quick interruption while I go out and collect two mares and get them back to their stalls. Hmmm.... who left the doors open??
Be The Savvy ShowMom!
Kathy Keeley, Head Show Mom and Founder,
ShowMom.com
Feature Article: Moms and Trainers Working Together
by Kathy Keeley, The Savvy ShowMom
One of the more important working relationships is that of the mom (parent) and the trainer. Moms and trainers need to be on the same page, understand each other's goals and budget, and be a united front on certain issues. Moms need to be clear about their expectations, their training and show budgets, and their own set of personal values. In addition, they need to be able to establish a working relationship with the trainer. Trainers need to be clear about their policies and schedules, fees, horsemanship and showing expectations, and training routines.
Good communication between trainers and moms is important, especially with teenagers who may be testing the rules, their independence, and the adults around them. Trainers often hold a special place in the heart of most riders - certainly in a higher place than their parents, who now know little, are expected to pay without comment, and suddenly cannot do anything right. We show moms expect to work with the trainer to make the most of the experience for our children. A few of us can be difficult customers, but for the most part we try to stay out of the training role and remain in the parent role. (There are the exemptions as seen at every show -- ever stay late with a sick horse and listen to the stall talk in a tent of a hundred stalls? You can pick up a lot about what trainers think of their customers.)
It is most important to be working together when discipline has to be managed either by the parent or the trainer. Trainers and parents should be on the same page when it comes to issues such as inappropriate behavior in the ring, unsportsman like behavior to riders or horses, and the always present - on the edge - smarting off and talking back. Parents should support trainers who have to discipline or reprimand a rider after some type of inappropriate behavior. Trainers need to be supportive when a parent cancels out on shows or limits riding for discipline reasons. Sometimes this discipline is all we have left to use to get a child's attention. However, cancelling does not mean not paying the bill.
Hopefully, parents have a set of values they are teaching their children, and horse showing is an opportunity to reinforce those values. Hard work, determination, setting stretch goals, follow-through and responsibility were all goals important in our family. All of our trainers understood these values. Sometimes it may have looked unfair compared to some of the other kids who had grooms to do everything. We may have looked like tough parents, but we held our ground.
Hunter jumper riders seem more dependent on their trainers than any other riding sport. I remember a conference of mixed disciplines where a hunter rider introduced herself by saying, "we are the group that cannot do anything without our trainers." Given the power that most trainers have, it can take some work to communicate and work in partnership.
Here are my five tips for working with a trainer:
1. Remember they are the trainer. Do not try to be the trainer. Our role as parents is to be the unconditional fan -- that person who pays the bills, does the driving, finds lost things, and always can find something soothing to say after a bad ride.
2. Communicate often and clearly - when your child is not around. Call, set an appointment, or go to lunch with the trainer to plan, exchange ideas and concerns, ask questions, and find out what their perspective is.
3. Get the financial information and fees upfront and establish a clear budget. Set a budget for the year and pick horse shows accordingly, especially if you are watching a budget and want money left for vacations and other travel. Expect a written fee schedule and a show schedule for the season.
4. Establish mutually agreed upon goals for the season. It is important to discuss your goals, your child's goals and the trainers perceptions and goals that they are considering for the season. Qualifying for nationals is different than moving up jumping heights. Buying a new horse for whatever reason is yet another decision that has to be made together.
5. Be a good customer and expect customer service in return. Pay your bills, volunteer to help with the work, be respectful about time and travel, and give a thank you and a tip once in a while.
Most trainers are simply trying to run a business. We, on the other, hand are trying to raise our children. Somewhere in between we have to meet and make it all work out for the child.
>>Survey: Take it Now Ever wonder about other show moms and why they participate in horse showing, who they are and what we have in common?
Take the first ever survey of show moms. Results will be published in our upcoming newsletter.
You can take the survey here.
Ask A Question or Send a Comment Help! Switching trainers is a difficult and often emotional time. Email me with reasons why you think you should or would switch and effective ways of handling this decision. I am looking for ideas for the next column and would love to hear from you.
Missed the last newsletter on the packing woes?? View it here.
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