This is my favorite time of year - an ending to one season and the beginning of another. It may also be that I am finally home for weekends, am able to focus on my family in person and without the use of a cell phone. Most importantly I get to sleep in my own bed for several weekends in a row.

Ending One Season
The show season ends officially at the end of November. Points are tabulated and it is time to focus and prepare for the new year. Ending the season is a great time to review and take stock of the past year - what was learned, what new skills were gained, what worked and what did not work. It is a time for family conversations about the show year and its impact on everyone in the family. It is also a time to think about what new skills did the rider learn related to both riding and more importantly to me the parent in life.

I take this time as a parent to think about my role as a parent and seriously think about what she had learned and what stage of child development she seems to be in and/or approaching. Each year a child grows and develops and my parenting skills are challenged to keep pace. What I do with a ten year old is different than a 12 year old as compared to a 16 year old. I try to think about my goals for helping her grow into adulthood - preparing her to leave for college, preparing for her firsts whether it is driving or dating.

I also take this time to sort, clean, throw out and repair all of the tack, the tack trunk, blankets, bridles, and whatever else we have in the trailer, tack trunks and barn. We take a couple of days (warmer ones we hope) and sort out of the show stuff. Lost chokers are found, bridles and reins repaired, outgrown clothes sorted and all of those things stuffed in various places are found and cleaned. Winter circuit will be coming up and this is my time out to get ready and organized for the new year.

My third job is to get all of the paper work organized. Membership cards for horse and rider go to the trainer for the coming year. Coggins and health records are checked and updated if needed or at least put on the calender for the next year.

Oh, yes, this all goes on while I run around to finish my Holiday shopping, decorate a house, and organize our family visits.

Starting a new season
With a new show season, comes new goals and new opportunities. I want my child to learn about goal setting, hard work, follow-through and how to plan for what she wants. I found horse showing was a great venue or teachable moment for helping my daughter learn these skills.

I think during this off season, it is the time to meet with the trainer and discuss goals for the coming year. I probably have had side conversations with the trainer as the show season ended or we finished up with indoors or year end finals. We go back and forth on what the plan might be for the next year in this snippet of conversations. These side conversations on the fly, set the tone for a sit down meeting. I started these meetings alone with the trainer and as my daughter matured, she was included. I wanted to set riding, horsemanship, and show goals. I would like a sense of the show schedule options -what will be the trainers focus for this year. Some trainers have clear goals for indoors or specific end of year shows and I would like to know this early to see if we fit into their goals and schedules.

The conversations changed over the years - some years were very much about riding skills and other years were about her attitude and behavior. Some years were about show schedules and clarifying goals. Sometimes my daughter clearly knew her own riding goals such as moving up in fence height and it was a matter of working with the trainer to understand the child's goals.

My goal in the conversation was to role modeling planning, setting goals, adjusting those goals, and how to think about personal goals related to something you passionately love. As a parent I wanted to have my child watch two adults plan, then engage her in the planning and see the results of her planning efforts. These conversations also had very practical reasons - I had to budget for the coming year and wanted to develop a family plan for what we could afford.

I think the conversations with the trainer about a new year also established a set of expectations between us. I knew and could support her riding goals for my daughter. We could reinforce each other and send consistent adult messages to my child. Some trainers, had to think on their feet - not sure this was their personal style but it was a way to make sure we made progress each year. It gave us a shared plan or at least a mutual understanding of what to expect. I found I also used these conversations to address some issues like barn politics, travel lodging or rising costs. It set a format to give the trainer some feedback from me the parent(customer) and provided a platform for me to lay out our expectations. In some cases, it laid the groundwork for changing trainers. I took these conversations very seriously and they became an important part of my relationship with the trainer.

In the end, we all started on the same page - trainer, rider and parent knew what to expect of the coming year. We could work as a team, reinforce each other, and deal with all of the unexpected happenings. It seemed to build some important relationships and established better communication.

I encourage you to think about setting goals for the coming year... it is a great task while you are pulling hairnets off the velcro, cleaning out the bottom of the trunk, or watching yet another round of lessons in the cold. Happy planning!