Dealing with Packing Woes
The Savvy ShowMom Newsletter - May 24, 2007

Who would have thought? Packing for shows with our children turns out to be one of the most stressful parts of horse showing. In a recent survey conducted at Showmom.com, you reported that the stress of packing and getting ready for a horse show trumped seven other show stressors by a wide margin -- by 60%.

There are many reasons for tension during all of the packing and getting ready to leave. The first deals with different styles of packing - the last minute packer vs. the list-keeper and organized approach to packing. Some of you likened the packing process to that of a fire drill - trying to hurriedly find items not used since the last show. You know, those things that were not put away in the first place. You reported a mad scramble for clean show clothes, show saddle pads, and clean socks. Some related stories of the forgotten items like the saddle and girth (still waiting to hear the story about forgetting the horse or child) and other essential items. How many of us still have a matched set of gloves for the season or two matching chokers for those show shirts?

Another reason for the pre-showing packing frenzy stems from helping transition your child from to teen to adult. As your child becomes a teen, she takes on more responsibility. As the teen becomes an adult, she can take on a majority of the work and the responsibility. Extra tensions seems to exist during those points of transition as mom and child each learn their new roles. Daughters report they are both nervous and excited to be heading to a show. Moms report they are just trying to get everything done at home, at work and for the show.

Amazingly, before a show, 60% of us start out our weekend with tension and stress before we even get to the show and the competition. So what is a Savvy ShowMom to do?

The Clashing Packing Styles

What if you are one of those teams that have truly different packing styles: the "Queen of Lists" vs. the "Princess of the Last Minute"? This problem calls for a flag of truce and a division of roles. The list-doer and the last-minute packer need to acknowledge their different styles and divide up the work so they have separate spheres of responsibility. Each of you should divide up the work and take responsibility for a particular area (this is assuming you have a teen or young adult in transition). Many moms found it helpful to stay out of the barn and relegate tack jobs (cleaning tack and boots) to the rider while Mom takes over food, drink and show clothes. Figuring out how to separate out the packing will largely be dependant on your child's age.

The Last-Minute Child

So what if you have a child whose response is always, "I'll do this later or tomorrow"? How do you break out of the Wednesday or Thursday night all-nighter for getting everything done? How can you put a stop to, "Mom, my show clothes or saddle pads are dirty!" and you face late-night laundry, which was not in your plans? One way to manage this is better organization when returning from a show and implementing a reward/consequence strategy.

One strategy that worked for us was a collapsible laundry bag. This bag was placed in the tack room or in the trailer and all dirty items got pitched in here. A similar one was at home in the bathroom for show clothes. This one tool helped organize and make it easier to get all dirty items in one place. Other parents use rewards as an incentive to get things done throughout the week and deliver a consequence if the agreed-upon steps are not followed.

The Mother's Perspective

Some mothers tell me they just recognize the pre-show and packing tension. They try and maintain good humor, but most expect some tension in getting ready. There's always too much work to be done in a short period of time. Everyone is busy with school and work and there are not enough hours in the day to make it all happen. Try communicating with your teen about packing issues ahead of time, like during a non-show week.

My suggestion is to pick a moment in the car together, perhaps when you're driving to and from the barn, or any quiet time when you both can give the subject some undivided attention. Agree to listen, not to blame, to be partners and develop a plan to improve. One Savvy ShowMom took these packing issues to heart, and invented some luggage to help with packing, the IPPOS On The Circuit Collection. Vicki Dallas created a great set of luggage to keep track of all of the show clothes. Others recommend dividing up the work and staying out of each other's way. ( As I write this, I just got a call that mine forget her eye liner - who can show without eye liner?)

Printed in Hunter Jumper Magazine - May Issue. Look for our monthly column in this new West Coast magazine.

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